Most people know they shouldn’t be measuring their lives against others, but it seems like something we do intuitively. Whenever I hear numbers (salary, weight lifting, running times, books read, number of skills, etc.), I instantly think, ‘How do I stack up against that?’.
I’m driven by growth and it’s easy to get caught in this cycle of wondering if I am doing enough. Comparing myself against others is a quick way of figuring this out. If someone is performing above my current level, then that means I need to step up my game. Right?
”Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt
Comparison can be a great motivational tool for growth. You see other people that are healthy, happy, and successful and you want to be like them. Losing weight, learning new skills, and working hard are all good things. But at what point is it enough? When you reach that original level of what you thought was healthy/happy/successful, do you stop or do you start to notice other people that are at the next level? There’s someone ahead of you and you’re not satisfied with where you’re at.
So we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others then.
Now let’s image that we are living in a vacuum with no influence or interaction from anyone outside of it. If you lived your life completely alone, would you be as motivated as you are now to be healthy or learn a new skill? If there was literally no one to compare yourself against, how would you even know you are being lazy? Is it an innate feeling? Or would you never be aware without an external influence?
So maybe a little bit of comparison is good.
I make comparisons against myself so I can grow. I compare myself against others in my field to make sure that I’m receiving my ‘fair share’. But I also occasionally compare myself to others NOT in my field to realize how lucky am I to be working an ideal, low stress, high paid job.
Is it wrong to want to make sure that I am paid my worth for my job? That seems reasonable. But should I be content with what I have because so many others have much less? That also seems reasonable.
Like most things in life, there is no black and white answer. This will most likely be a balancing act that I will perform for the rest of my life. But maybe I’ll change my mind someday and stop worrying so much about myself.
A quote to think about:
“The only time you look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl to see if you have as much as them.” ― Louis C.K.